sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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