all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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