matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
