why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
