i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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