i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
