If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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