Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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