So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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