8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
