Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i drank out of a bidet.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
