Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
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That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
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I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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