Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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