I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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