like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
