My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
