why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
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No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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