it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
