wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
