honey bunches of taint.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
