Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
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Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
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Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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