i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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