is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
