i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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