The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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