gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
