So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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