their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
