You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
