I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You ruined the universe
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
