Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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