She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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