There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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