we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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