Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
