A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE