Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?