I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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