My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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