the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
