Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Can I color on your dick again?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
