why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
