Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
