Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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