:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize