It's like God shit irony all over that family
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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