.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
