I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
