I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
