that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His hands were made for my vagina.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
