I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize