East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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