Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
