She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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