So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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