I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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