He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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