I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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