I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
