If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
