we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
